My pronouns are:
they/them/themselves
(Singular “they”)
Example usage in sentences:
Singular “they” has been used in English to describe an unspecified person since the late 1300s (it's even older than singular “you”!). Nowadays, it's the most popular choice among people who prefer gender neutral forms. It starts being accepted by dictionaries too.
It is also common to use “themself” as a reflexive form.
Table:
| Subject | Object | Possessive determiner | Possessive pronoun | Reflexive |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| they | them | their | theirs | themselves |
Normative-ish forms
Those pronouns have been in common use in normative English already, but recently they got a slightly different new usage: describing a single, specific person. If you want to link to plural “they”, use this link.- they/them/themselves – Singular “they” Normative
- they/them/themself – Singular “they” Normative
- it/its – Personal “it” Normative
- one/one's – Specific “one” Normative
Examples from cultural texts:
Singular “they” (they/them)
This list of sources includes both the version with “themselves” and “themself”, as well as those that don't happen to use reflexive.
ALOK – Bio on personal website, 2017
- “ALOK (they/them) is a gender non-conforming writer and performance artist. Their distinctive style and poetic challenge to the gender binary have been internationally renowned. As a mixed-media artist Alok uses poetry, prose, comedy, performance, fashion design, and portraiture to explore themes of gender, race, trauma, belonging, and the human condition. They are the author of Femme in Public (2017) and Beyond the Gender Binary (2020). In 2019 they were honored as one of NBC’s Pride 50 and Out Magazine’s OUT 100. They have presented their work in more than 40 countries.”
Dana Terrace – The Owl House (Season 2, Episode 7), 2021; Raine Whispers is the first non-binary character of Disney and they're voiced by the also non-binary voice artist, Avi Roque
- “"So the Head Witch of the Bard Coven likes pretending to be a rebel. Too bad they're not very good at it!"”
Dana Terrace – The Owl House (Season 2, Episode 8), 2021; Raine Whispers is the first non-binary character of Disney and they're voiced by the also non-binary voice artist, Avi Roque
- “"Just tell them! Let them help!"”
- “"Stop pushing them away!"”
Rebecca Sugar – Steven Universe Future (Episode: Litte Graduation ), 2019
- “"Great. They're so cool. I can't believe we've been dating for almost two months, now."
” - “"Say "Hi" to them for me"”
- “"Shep is Sadie's new partner. They met while she was on tour with the Suspects."”
- “"Great. They're so cool. I can't believe we've been dating for almost two months, now."
AJ and the Queen (Season 1, Episode 2: Pittsburgh), 2020
- “Or, actually, I'm not sure where he or she or they is on the gender non-binary scale.”
Billions (Season 2, Episode 2), 2017
- “Hello, I'm Taylor. My pronouns are they, theirs, and them.”
- “– She spotted that from outer space?
– Not she. They.”
City of Ghosts (Season 1, Episode 2: Venice), 2021
- “My name is Thomas. I use "they" and "them" for my pronouns.”
DeGrassi: Next Class (Season 4, Episode 6 “#FactsOnly”), 2017
- “My favorite vlogger did a thing about this. They identify as genderqueer. Or, I think there’s another name for it. Um... Genderfluid. They feel like they’re between a boy or a girl. Or both. Or neither.”
Glow Up (Season 3, Episode 3), 2021
- “My look is based on Claude Cahun. They were a non-binary, queer artist that played with gender and image and reclaiming the way you're perceived.”
Glow Up (Season 3, Episode 7), 2021
- “One hour has passed and Jack has decided to play their Val card.”
Lucifer (S6:E7: My Best Fiend's Wedding), 2021
- “My tailor would be personally offended if I didn't allow them to help you out in this time of need. They're a total genius. Saved me after the short-suiting debacle.”
Metal Shop Masters (Season 1, Episode 1; Netflix), 2021
- “Rae just has to take hers apart. Seven has to throw theirs away.”
- “Things were already made. They just stuck them together.”
New Amsterdam (season 6, episode 6), 2019
- “Miss Verdene, well, I am Dr. Bloom, and this here is Nurse Brunstetter. And they're gonna take care of your lacerations.”
One Day at a Time (Season 2, Episode 3: "To Zir, With Love"), 2018
- “– Anyway, I started talking to Syd and I found out we have so much in common. And I know you're not crazy about me dating, but I was just wondering if I could get ice cream with them.
– And by "them" you mean just Syd?
– Yes!”
- “– Anyway, I started talking to Syd and I found out we have so much in common. And I know you're not crazy about me dating, but I was just wondering if I could get ice cream with them.
Our Flag Means Death (Season 1, Episode 7), 2022
- “But Jim's the kind of person where if they stabbed me, I'd be like, “Yeah, I probably deserved it.””
Sex Education (Season 3, Episode 2; Netflix), 2021
- “– I know her. Well, I mean, she bumped into me the other day.
– My pronouns are they/them but no worries. I'm Cal.”
- “– I know her. Well, I mean, she bumped into me the other day.
She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, 2019
- “Lord Hordak, I’d like to introduce you to Double Trouble. They’re our newest asset in taking down the Rebellion. (Season 4, Episode 3)”
- “We captured Double Trouble! They’re refusing to talk to us, but... still! (Season 4, Episode 8)”
Star Trek: Discovery (Season 3 Episode 8, “The Sanctuary”), 2020
- “– But even so, their work has been nothing short of stellar. They're... really something.
– They're also awake.”
- “– But even so, their work has been nothing short of stellar. They're... really something.
Avinash Chak – Beyond 'he' and 'she': The rise of non-binary pronouns (BBC News), 2015
- “kat baus, a non-binary student who graduated from Harvard this year - and who also writes their name without capital letters - regrets that the university's computer system was not introduced earlier. "It would have been a lot easier and less awkward," baus says.
baus sent emails or visited professors during office hours to explain their gender identity and pronouns. In smaller classes they (baus) brought it up when introducing themself.”
- “kat baus, a non-binary student who graduated from Harvard this year - and who also writes their name without capital letters - regrets that the university's computer system was not introduced earlier. "It would have been a lot easier and less awkward," baus says.
Jamie Feldman – How Being The First Non-Binary Person Vying For Miss Colorado USA Changed Their Life (HuffPost), 2019
- “Their friends and family were wary but supportive ― so much so that Stecina quickly collected enough money to cover the application fee through fundraising on social media ― and after publicly announcing their intention to compete, they found themself in a particularly vulnerable place.”
Alison Flood – Marieke Lucas Rijneveld wins International Booker for The Discomfort of Evening (The Guardian), 2020
- “In their acceptance speech, Rijneveld said they wrote the words “be relentless” on the wall above their desk while writing their novel.
“Today, when the world has been turned upside down and is showing its dark side, I often remember those words. So, write, read, win, lose, love each other, but be relentless in this,” they said.”
- “In their acceptance speech, Rijneveld said they wrote the words “be relentless” on the wall above their desk while writing their novel.
Ben Kesslen – Nonbinary 'Billions' star Asia Kate Dillon won't be 'made precious' (NBC News), 2019
- “As Dillon explains it, when they started as a recurring character in Season 2, Taylor was ”sort of introduced as this moral and ethical center in a very unethical world.” A young, queer and nonbinary person entering the male-dominated hedge fund world, their character acted as an antidote to the hedge fund’s money-hungry male employees. But, as Dillon said, power and money “corrupt” and their character wasn’t immune.”
Mordechai Laub – Kacen Callender shares the importance of queer novels (Young Entertainment), 2020
- “Kacen Callender is a bestselling and award-winning author. They have written novels for middle school readers, young adult readers, and adults. Kacen Callender born and raised in St. Thomas of the US Virgin Islands. Some of Kacen Callender’s novels include This Is Kind of an Epic Love Story and Felix Ever After. ”
Nick Romano – Madagascar animated series welcomes a nonbinary character in Pride episode sneak peek (Entertainment Weekly), 2021
- “Ezra Menas couldn't identify with a character on screen until hir mid-20s. The actor from Broadway's Jagged Little Pill and the upcoming West Side Story movie — who identifies as nonbinary and uses zie/hir/they pronouns — saw actor Elliot Fletcher, a trans man, portray Aaron on an episode of The Fosters. It was "real, real late in my life," Menas tells EW. Before that moment, zie would project hir experience onto characters "always hoping for some kind of narrative to come through."”
- “Thinking back to how little queer representation Menas saw on screen as a kid, they believe a character like Odee would've made hir younger self feel less alone.”
Alexis Petridis – Sam Smith: Love Goes review – heartbreak album plays it safe in hard times (The Guardian), 2020
- “The lyrics stick fast to romantic misery, from infidelity to perfidious swine interested only in Smith’s bank balance. These are perennial topics for Smith, though as they told Lowe, their first two albums were inspired by unrequited love; Love Goes is apparently their “first proper heartbreak album”. ”
R. B. Lemberg (Uncanny Magazine), 2019
- “R.B. Lemberg is a queer, bigender immigrant from Ukraine, Russia, and Israel to the US. Their stories and poems have appeared in Lightspeed‘s Queers Destroy Science Fiction, Beneath Ceaseless Skies, Uncanny Magazine, Sisters of the Revolution: A Feminist Speculative Fiction Anthology, and more.”
Star Trek: Discovery Introduces First Transgender and Non-Binary Characters (StarTrek.com), 2020
- “Del Barrio was in their final year of studies at the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art when they auditioned for the role of Adira. Del Barrio has been acting in theater and short films since the age of 7, and they’re incredibly excited to make their television acting debut in season three of Discovery.”
Top 7 LGBTQ moments of the Tokyo Olympics (Outsports), 2021
- “Quinn (who is trans nonbinary) had a Games to remember when they helped Canada win its first gold medal in women’s soccer. Quinn always remembered they represented more than themself, as they said on the “Trans Sporter Room” podcast last year […]”
Charlie Jane Andrews – The Bookstore at the End of America (short story from the collection A People's Future of the United States), 2019
- “Sander stared at the space where Souls on the Land ought to be, and their pale, round face was full of lines. They had a single tattoo of a butterfly clad in gleaming armor, and the wires rained from the shaved back of their skull. They were some kind of engineer for the Anoth Complex.”
Bernardine Evaristo – Girl, Woman, Other, 2019
- “they were asked to review the play for a fee for the lifestyle magazine, Rogue Nation, on account of their Twitter following of over a million followers
which apparently turned them into an ‘influencer'” - “fancy me bumping into Mx Morgan Malinga! how cool is that? all the way down from oooop North, wey aye, man, I bet you love being in London, are you going to move down?”
- “they were asked to review the play for a fee for the lifestyle magazine, Rogue Nation, on account of their Twitter following of over a million followers
Yoon Ha Lee – Phoenix Extravagant, 2020
- “What did you expect? they asked themself. They'd known about Vei's loyalties from the beginning, even if she had Hwagugin blood. Being intimate with Jebi didn't change her nature. But they couldn't help wishing it were otherwise.”
Daniel José Older – Star Wars: Last Shot, 2018
- “Now Taka was yelling something, singing, perhaps, in tune with the melodious love song that the world itself sang. They were insistent, there was somewhere apparently they wanted to be, and wanted Han to be, too, which was lovely.”
William Shakespeare – The Comedy of Errors (Act IV, Scene III), 1594; Early use of (generic) singular they/them.
- “There's not a man I meet but doth salute me
As if I were their well-acquainted friend”
- “There's not a man I meet but doth salute me
Rowan Williams – The Face in Her Stars (a League of Legends short story), 2021
- “I rushed Shorin with a cry. They raised their shield defensively, but I lifted my own and then drove it down, using their front-heavy weight to topple them. In a flash, my sword was over my shield, pointed at their throat. They lifted their sword to the side to show the stroke would have felled them.”
Virginia Woolf – Orlando: A Biography, 1928; The titular character of Woolf's novel mysteriously changes from a man into a woman at the age of 30 and lives for over 300 years without aging. Singular they is used in the passage describing Orlando's “transformation”.
- “We may take advantage of this pause in the narrative to make certain statements. Orlando had become a woman--there is no denying it. But in every other respect, Orlando remained precisely as he had been. The change of sex, though it altered their future, did nothing whatever to alter their identity. Their faces remained, as their portraits prove, practically the same. His memory--but in future we must, for convention's sake, say 'her' for 'his,' and 'she' for 'he'--her memory then, went back through all the events of her past life without encountering any obstacle.”
The Holy Bible, King James Version. Deutronomy 17:5, 1611; Early use of (generic) singular they/them.
- “Then shalt thou bring forth that man, or that woman (which haue committed that wicked thing) vnto thy gates, euen that man, or that woman, and shalt stone them with stones till they die.”
Sam Domingo – It’s as if my ears want to close, 2020; The poem was part of a performative lecture “When words erase people. Experiences of non-binary people in Poland and the Philippines”
- “A certain softness is in their voice,
Almost whispering constant aggression.
They tell me the slurs, now notes,
have formed a harmonious hum of
The melancholy of the linguistic conundrum.
They sing to me an elegy for their dead name.
It's as if my ears want to close.
They smoke for a breather,
Mimicking the gasps from sudden attacks
Of "tita," [aunt] "ate," [sister] and "ma'am"
Invoked from homophobic lungs
That gave claustrophobic traumas.
I gulp the air now a pound heavier.
It's as if their ears want to close.”
- “A certain softness is in their voice,
arcadekitten – It's not me, it's my basement, 2021; Embry it's confirmed as a non binary character by the creator of the game "It's not me, it's my basement".
Blizzard Entertainment – Meet the Mercenaries – Varden Dawngrasp (a new character in the game Hearthstone), 2021
- “A curious intellectual seeking redemption in the eyes of their people…
Dawngrasp spent most of their life in Silvermoon, a curious young elf and student of all things magical. They showed a preternatural gift for the arcane, quickly mastering various schools of magical thought. They were trained by Prince Kael’thas Sunstrider himself, who was part of the High Council of the Kirin Tor. It looked like Dawngrasp would rise through the ranks of the mages of Quel’thalas and attain the title of Magister.
Alas, Arthas and the Scourge had other plans. In the aftermath of the destruction of the Sunwell, Kael’thas went to Outland, but Dawngrasp would not go. After the prince’s subsequent betrayal, many of the magisters, Grand Magister Rommath included, suspected that Dawngrasp might be in league with the traitorous prince. Alienated, Dawngrasp turned to their studies for comfort.
After the Night of Falling Stars, a troll appeared in Silvermoon. His name was Kazakus, and he sought aid in gathering the glowing shards that had rained across the Barrens. Suspicious of the troll’s intentions, Dawngrasp went to Kalimdor of their own accord, seeking knowledge about the power contained inside the shards…”
- “A curious intellectual seeking redemption in the eyes of their people…
Toby Fox – Deltarune, 2018; Kris Dreemurr is a confirmed non-binary character from the indie RPG "Deltarune"
- “Huh...? Kris...? Did you say something back there? (... I can't hear them anymore...)”
Wizards of the Coast – Magic: The Gathering, 2020
- “Niko is a new Planeswalker from the Plane of Theros. Early in Niko's life, an oracle foresaw a great future for Niko: they were destined to be a great athlete, an undefeated javelineer who would never miss a shot. Niko trained and competed for many years, but in all that time, they heard stories and songs of heroes who would fight to protect people and began to question the destiny prescribed to them. Eventually, Niko decided to challenge fate itself and, to the shock of many, purposefully lost a competition. The realization that they could control their own fate set Niko on their new path: a young Planeswalker seeking to become a true hero like they had always dreamed.”
Battlefield 2042, 2021
- “Sundance definitely likes to live on the edge. They're a skilled and fearless adversary that's had two very different lives – one as a model soldier in the Armée de Terre, and an earlier and much darker existence as a trusted associate in a major Parisian crime syndicate. The latter, sadly, came back to haunt them and ended their military career pre-maturely.”
- “This Assault Specialist is doing their best to keep a low profile among the Non-Patriated, while still using their unique talents to aid the cause whenever they can.”
Bloodhound – Apex Legends, 2021
- “Bloodhound is known across the Outlands as one of the greatest game hunters the Frontier has ever seen. The child of two engineers stationed at the New Dawn industrial plant on Talos, Bloodhound was taken in by their uncle Artur after a meltdown destroyed the facility and killed both their parents. Artur taught them the Old Ways, a belief system that focuses on the glory of nature and rejects modern technology. Yet Bloodhound was constantly drawn to technological marvels, and ultimately used both new and old methods to take down a Goliath that preyed on the people of their village, forever changing their life’s path.”
Bugsnax, 2020
- “Dislikes journalists for painting them as creepy.”
- “Shelda stroked Lizbert's distrust of Floofty, and they fled.”
Linsey Miller – Mask of Shadows, 2017; a genderfluid character who goes by he, she or they depending on what they’re wearing
Kelly Robson – Intervention (in Infinity’s End, edited by Jonathan Strahan), 2018
- “Émeraude unclipped and offered the doctor their hand. They were a kid with only two modes: all-out or flatline. A few months back, they’d injured themselves cranking on a crimp, completely bowstringing the flexor tendon.”
Fallout 76: Steel Dawn, 2020
- “Because it suits them better. When I first met Burke... they were different. Secluded. Like they didn't want anyone to see them. Burke flinched when others talked about them. People expected things based on how they looked. They had these... titles. The Silent Man. Albino Dog. One day I asked if something else would feel better. It took some trial and error, but we eventually settled on the neutral 'they'. They're a much happier person now, for the insignificant price of a word.”
Tillie Walden – On a Sunbeam, 2016
- “Oh and Ell doesn't talk. No one told me that when I got here and I felt like an idiot. And they're non-binary.”
atlas, jhfly – they/them (from the EP “flowers”), 2018
- “You know it's they/them, as in me and most of mine
Some identical identity, I keep 'em close beside”
- “You know it's they/them, as in me and most of mine
Shalaxi Helbane (Warhammer minature, Games Workshop), 2019
- “Shalaxi Helbane is a monster hunter without compare. Just as fast, lethal and magically adept as a regular Keeper of Secrets, this champion of the Dark Prince has a suite of skills that make them a deadly duellist in both Warhammer 40,000 and Warhammer Age of Sigmar. Bloodthirsters, Hive Tyrants and Stardrakes alike will struggle to face their wrath, making them a superb addition to your Slaanesh or Chaos Daemons army.”
Daniel José Older – Midnight Horizon (Star Wars: The High Republic), 2022; The High Republic is a multimedia series, the photo seen is from "Galactic Bake-Off Spetacular" which features Kantam Sy and their friend Torban Buck telling a story. Both characters are in both books and comics.
- ““That’s what I thought,” Kantam said. They raced ahead to smack back the next few shots, taking care to adjust their balance for the weight of each one. With the gunship bearing down on them, Kantam sent the final laser blast zinging directly into it, taking out the cannon and gunner in a sparkling explosion.
Kantam sidestepped and held out their lightsaber as the gunship hurtled past, shredding a vicious gash into its metal armor.”
- ““That’s what I thought,” Kantam said. They raced ahead to smack back the next few shots, taking care to adjust their balance for the weight of each one. With the gunship bearing down on them, Kantam sent the final laser blast zinging directly into it, taking out the cannon and gunner in a sparkling explosion.
Mother Mother – Hayloft II (Includes using they/them as a singular pronoun), 2022
- “They’re not a bad kid, but they had to do it. They couldn’t not. They had to face off.”
Simon – Cloud 9 (alt pronouns) - Beach Bunny, Tegan and Sara,
- “But when they love me, I feel like I'm floating
When they call me pretty, I feel like somebody
Even when we fade eventually, I'm nothing
You will always be my favorite form of loving”
- “But when they love me, I feel like I'm floating
What's the deal with pronouns?
Pronouns are those words that we use instead of calling someone by their name every time we mention them. Most people use “he/him” and “she/her”, so we automatically assume which one to call them based on someone's looks. But it's actually not that simple…
Gender is complicated. Some people “don't look like” their gender. Some prefer being called in a different way from what you'd assume. Some people don't fit into the boxes of “male” or “female” and prefer more neutral language.
This tool lets you share a link to your pronouns, with example sentences, so that you can show people how you like to be called.
Why does it matter? Because of simple human decency. You wouldn't call Ashley “Samantha” just because you like that name more or because “she looks like a Samantha to you”. Or even if she does have the name “Samantha” in her birth certificate but she absolutely hates it and prefers to use “Ashley”. And it's the exact same story with pronouns – if you don't want to be rude towards someone, please address them properly. The only difference is that we usually know names, but not pronouns. We introduce ourselves with a name, but not pronouns. Let's change that!