My pronouns are:

xe/xem

(Neopronoun “xe/xem”)

Example usage in sentences:

  • I think xe is very nice.
  • I asked xem if I can borrow xyr pencil.
  • Xe told me that the house is xyrs.
  • Xe said xe would rather do it xemself.
Coined by Don Rickter in an issue of Unitarian Universalist in 1973.

Table:

Subject Object Possessive determiner Possessive pronoun Reflexive
xe /zi/ xem /zɛm/ xyr /ziɹ/ xyrs /ziɹz/ xemself /zɛmˈsɛlf/

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Examples from cultural texts:

Neopronoun “xe/xem” (xe/xem)

  • Alex BollingerCould this new more inclusive flag replace the rainbow flag? (LGBTQNation.com), 2018; Daniel Quasar was the designer of the progress pride flag.

    • Xe said that xe was inspired to design the new flag when the Philadelphia Office of LGBT Affairs displayed a version of the rainbow flag with brown and black stripes to represent people of color.

      “I felt there needed to be more thought put into the design and emphasis of the flag to give it more meaning,” xe wrote on Facebook.
    • Xe is trying to raise $14,000 on KickStarter, mostly to produce nylon flags that are three feet wide and five feet long. Xe has received almost $3000 so far.

      Quasar identifies as a “queer non-binary demiguy” and prefers xe/xem/xyr pronouns.
  • J. Blackburn, K. Gottschewski, Elsa George, and Niki L.A discussion about Theory of Mind: From an Autistic Perspective (from Autism Europe's Congress), 2000; (2019 reprint in “Autonomy, the Critical Journal of Interdisciplinary Autism Studies” Vol. 1 No. 6)

    • And if you see that someone has some abilities which are totally inexplicable and like magic to you, it can easily look like xe would be able to do and know everything.
    • Of course the nature of knowledge or logic depends on xyr experience, reasoning ability, environment, object of current perseveration and fixation, and so on.
  • Jim SinclairIf you could choose… (archived from the original), 1992

    • I wouldn't want to miss out on knowing such a person just because xe happened to be the “wrong” sex.
  • Artur NowrotDragon Child (#EnbyLife. Journal for Non-Binary & Gender-Diverse Creatives.), 2021

    • If you don’t behave, the dragon will get you, people used to say to Yare. Whenever xe was too loud, got carried away during playtime, did not eat something xe was supposed to, when xe didn’t pay xer elders the respect they felt they were owed. Later, when xe struggled with the learning and tasks xe was assigned, when xe wasn’t fast or strong or clever enough, the other children would taunt, Dragon Child! Dragon Child!
    • The dragon came quickly. There was a rustle, a swoop, a blow of air, and there drae stood, towering above Yare, iridescent. The dragon looked at Yare, narrowed draer eyes, sizing xer up. Imagine if drae rejected the offering! Please, take me, dragon. Don’t make me more of a failure then I already am.
    • When drae found out the truth, drae took the child with draem. And kept draer eye on the villagers. Until gradually the custom shifted and people started giving their children to the dragon. Drae took everyone in.”

  • Amethyst LiddellPokémon Reborn (fan game), 2013; Adrienn Flores is a nonbinary character who uses xe/xem/xyr pronouns.

    • Cain: "So then for pronouns.."
      Adrienn: "Xe/xem/xyr will be fine in place of, for instance, he/him/his."

What's the deal with pronouns?

We all have pronouns. They're those words that we use instead of calling someone by their name every time we mention them. Most people use “he/him” and “she/her”, so we automatically assume which one to call them based on someone's looks. But it's actually not that simple…

Gender is complicated. Some people “don't look like” their gender. Some prefer being called in a different way from what you'd assume. Some people don't fit into the boxes of “male” or “female” and prefer more neutral language.

This tool lets you share a link to your pronouns, with example sentences, so that you can show people how you like to be called.

Why does it matter? Because of simple human decency. You wouldn't call Ashley “Samantha” just because you like that name more or because “she looks like a Samantha to you”. Or even if she does have the name “Samantha” in her birth certificate but she absolutely hates it and prefers to use “Ashley”. And it's the exact same story with pronouns – if you don't want to be rude towards someone, please address them properly. The only difference is that we usually know names, but not pronouns. We introduce ourselves with a name, but not pronouns. Let's change that!

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