My pronouns are:

xe/xem or she/her

(Interchangeable forms: Neopronoun “xe/xem” or Normative “she/her”)

Example usage in sentences:

  • I think xe is very nice.
  • I asked xem if I can borrow xyr pencil.
  • Xe told me that the house is xyrs.
  • Xe said xe would rather do it xemself.


Subject Object Possessive determiner Possessive pronoun Reflexive
xe xem xyr xyrs xemself


Examples from cultural texts:

Neopronoun “xe/xem” (xe/xem)

  • Amethyst LiddellPokémon Reborn (fan game) , 2013 ; Adrienn Flores is a nonbinary character who uses xe/xem/xyr pronouns.

    • Cain: "So then for pronouns.."
      Adrienn: "Xe/xem/xyr will be fine in place of, for instance, he/him/his."
  • Alex BollingerCould this new more inclusive flag replace the rainbow flag? ( , 2018 ; Daniel Quasar was the designer of the progress pride flag.

    • Xe said that xe was inspired to design the new flag when the Philadelphia Office of LGBT Affairs displayed a version of the rainbow flag with brown and black stripes to represent people of color.

      “I felt there needed to be more thought put into the design and emphasis of the flag to give it more meaning,” xe wrote on Facebook.
    • Xe is trying to raise $14,000 on KickStarter, mostly to produce nylon flags that are three feet wide and five feet long. Xe has received almost $3000 so far.

      Quasar identifies as a “queer non-binary demiguy” and prefers xe/xem/xyr pronouns.
  • J. Blackburn, K. Gottschewski, Elsa George, and Niki L.A discussion about Theory of Mind: From an Autistic Perspective (from Autism Europe's Congress) , 2000 ; (2019 reprint in “Autonomy, the Critical Journal of Interdisciplinary Autism Studies” Vol. 1 No. 6)

    • And if you see that someone has some abilities which are totally inexplicable and like magic to you, it can easily look like xe would be able to do and know everything.
    • Of course the nature of knowledge or logic depends on xyr experience, reasoning ability, environment, object of current perseveration and fixation, and so on.
  • Jim SinclairIf you could choose… (archived from the original) , 1992

    • I wouldn't want to miss out on knowing such a person just because xe happened to be the “wrong” sex.
  • Ashley ShuttleworthA cruel and fated light, 2022

    • Very long and lean and disturbingly wraithlike with xis too-sharp features, golden-starlight shimmering skin, ivy-green hair, and eyes that were all electric iris and no pupil at all. Arlo didn't need the distinct tone of rotting in xis aura or the black cloak xe wore to tell her xe was one of the Wild Hunt. But xe was so young--goodness, xe had to be younger than her, even, at least in appearance.
  • Emery LeeMeet Cute Diary, 2021 ; Devin, a character from the book, uses both e/em and xe/xem pronouns

  • Artur NowrotDragon Child (#EnbyLife. Journal for Non-Binary & Gender-Diverse Creatives.) , 2021

    • If you don’t behave, the dragon will get you, people used to say to Yare. Whenever xe was too loud, got carried away during playtime, did not eat something xe was supposed to, when xe didn’t pay xer elders the respect they felt they were owed. Later, when xe struggled with the learning and tasks xe was assigned, when xe wasn’t fast or strong or clever enough, the other children would taunt, Dragon Child! Dragon Child!
    • The dragon came quickly. There was a rustle, a swoop, a blow of air, and there drae stood, towering above Yare, iridescent. The dragon looked at Yare, narrowed draer eyes, sizing xer up. Imagine if drae rejected the offering! Please, take me, dragon. Don’t make me more of a failure then I already am.
    • When drae found out the truth, drae took the child with draem. And kept draer eye on the villagers. Until gradually the custom shifted and people started giving their children to the dragon. Drae took everyone in.”

Normative “she/her” (she/her)

  • Maddy ThorsonIs Madeline Canonically Trans? (Medium) , 2018

    • I mentioned earlier that I didn’t know that Madeline was trans during the development of Celeste, and that I had a hunch when we made Farewell. That was a gradual thing. As time went on post-launch, my personal understanding of Madeline shifted from “maybe she’s trans” to “okay she’s definitely trans”.
  • Plasterbrain Pizza game (Art by Brendan Blabber (Jelloapocolypse)) , 2019 ; Warped lamp goes by she/her (shes trans, confirmed by the game creator/artist (Jelloapocolypse) on Tumblr and cannonically comes out to the protagonist mid-g

    • "Well... if her reason is lvoe, maybe I can sort of under. Stand"
    • "I guess question IS... do I return her feelings?"
    • "And she IS making a sparkly face at me..."
  • Scott CawthonFive Nights at Freddy's 2, 2014

    • In the game Five Nights at Freddy's 2, the character Mangle, also referred to as "The Mangle," canonically uses she/him pronouns. In Phone Guy's call on the third night, he says "I think the employees refer to him as just 'The Mangle. '"
    • Additionally, part of his description in Five Nights at Freddy's: Ultimate Custom Night, part of her description says "...once Mangle reaches the vent opening he will never leave. Use the vent-snare to prevent her from making it that far."
    • When the creator of the game, Scott Cawthon, was asked about Mangle's gender, he says that her gender is "Yes."
  • Eric KripkeGen V, 2023 ; Jordan Li is the main character of the series “Gen V”; they are a bigender person. Two actors appear in this role: London Thor and Derek Luh.

  • Matt BralyAmphibia, ; Darcy is referred to with a variety of pronouns, including it/its and they/them.

  • Alicja Ptak, Marcin GocłowskiThousands protest in Poland demanding release of LGBT activist (Reuters) , 2020

    • The police started releasing detained protesters on Saturday, but not Margot.
      She is a member of the activist group “Stop Bzdurom”. The group have said they hung flags on statues last week as part of a fight for LGBT rights, an issue thrust into the heart of public debate in Poland during last month’s presidential election.
  • Robin PogrebinLauren Halsey Brings Her Vision of South Central Los Angeles to New York (Naima Green for the New York Times) , 2022

    • She gathers whatever items catch her eye along the way and takes photos on her phone. Those finds, together with the ephemera she has saved since her teenage years of making collages (magazine clippings, church figurines, shiny foil palm trees, miniature cars, aquarium plants), fill every corner of Halsey’s Los Angeles studio and gradually make their way into her artwork.
    • Through her installations Halsey is honoring the community that nurtured and inspired her — not only her mother, a teacher, or her father, an accountant, but the church, the convenience stores, her bus route, her relatives and community centers. She is also documenting a particular segment of society, elevating an urban vernacular that often gets devalued or ignored.
    • She’s not trying to unpack notions of racism, she’s just trying to celebrate Blackness,” said the artist Charles Gaines, who taught Halsey when she] was an undergraduate at the California Institute of the Arts. “She’s trying to bring into the realm of art things that are thought to be low culture, things that are victimized by a certain stereotype.”
  • Jacob StolworthyEddie Izzard praised after fans notice use of she/her pronouns in latest TV appearance (The Independent) , 2020

    • Earlier this week, the stand-up comedy star, 58, appeared on Sky Arts series Portrait Artist of the Year in which the show’s host Stephen Mangan and contestants referred to Izzard as “she” and “her”. Izzard’s fans, who were catching up with the show at the weekend, have posted supportive messages on social media.
    • Speaking about her decision, Izzard told contestant Chris Holder: "This is the first programme I've asked if I can be 'she' and 'her' – this is a little transition period." She said “it feels very positive”, adding: “I just want to be based in girl mode from now on.”
  • Joe StrikeFurry Nation, 2017 ; A genderfluid person is referred to by she/her

    • The word "visionary" is tossed around a lot these days, usually referring to sci-fi and fantasy movie directors (whether they deserve it or not), but LeeLee's fiancé, Thadd, has definitely earned the title. For starters, Thadd has a "post-gender" identity, a concept a lot of people are still having trouble wrapping their heads around.
      "I don't care what pronouns people use. Most people think of me as female, while others may assume I'm male and apologize when my voice pitch changes mid-conversation. I never really think of myself as female or male. In a gender-fluid sense I may feel female today and male the next. I'm always just me."
    • Thadd's "department" is the still relatively young field of 3D printing. When I asked her what piqued her interest in the technology, she tells me, "In a way I've always been interested in the technology. Sculpting with clay seemed so painfully slow, and many, many times I wished for the literal invention of 3D printing."
  • Ursula K. Le GuinWinter's King (in: The Wind's Twelve Quarters) , 1975

    • “Argaven looked at them, face after face, the bowed heads and the unbowed.
      “I am Argaven,” she said. “I was king. Who reigns now in Karhide?”
  • Ann LeckieAncillary Justice, 2013

    • She was probably male, to judge from the angular mazelike patterns quilting her shirt. I wasn’t entirely certain. It wouldn’t have mattered, if I had been in Radch space. Radchaai don’t care much about gender, and the language they speak—my own first language—doesn’t mark gender in any way. This language we were speaking now did, and I could make trouble for myself if I used the wrong forms. It didn’t help that cues meant to distinguish gender changed from place to place, sometimes radically, and rarely made much sense to me.
  • Linsey MillerMask of Shadows, 2017 ; a genderfluid character who goes by he, she or they depending on what they’re wearing

  • Thomas Anderson and Mike DahlinOperating Systems Principles & Practice (Second Edition) Volume II: Concurrency, 2015

    • When an electrician walks into a room she wired last month, she does not have to spend time trying to remember which color is which.
    • Once a philosopher picks up a chopstick, she does not release it until she is done eating, even if that means no one will ever eat.
  • The NeighbourhoodSweater Weather, ; There are two main love interests in this song; when the lead singer references "she," the lyrics are referring to a partner using she/her pronouns. However, when the lead singer references "you," the love interest has switched and the gender is unknown.

    • Coming down
      One love, two mouths
      One love, one house
      No shirt, no blouse
      Just us, you find out
      Nothing that I wouldn't wanna tell you about, no, no, no
      'Cause it's too cold
      For you here
      And now, so let me hold
      Both your hands in the holes of my sweater
  • YUNGBLUDmars (from the album “weird!”) , 2020 ; This song is a pretty simple but sad story of a trans woman.

    • She dreamed she'd go to California
      There everyone would adore her
      And all her mates will call her
      'Til four in the morning”
    • But she can't be herself when she's somebody else
    • In the morning, she would take her mother's wedding ring

What's the deal with pronouns?

Pronouns are those words that we use instead of calling someone by their name every time we mention them. Most people use “he/him” and “she/her”, so we automatically assume which one to call them based on someone's looks. But it's actually not that simple…

Gender is complicated. Some people “don't look like” their gender. Some prefer being called in a different way from what you'd assume. Some people don't fit into the boxes of “male” or “female” and prefer more neutral language.

This tool lets you share a link to your pronouns, with example sentences, so that you can show people how you like to be called.

Why does it matter? Because of simple human decency. You wouldn't call Ashley “Samantha” just because you like that name more or because “she looks like a Samantha to you”. Or even if she does have the name “Samantha” in her birth certificate but she absolutely hates it and prefers to use “Ashley”. And it's the exact same story with pronouns – if you don't want to be rude towards someone, please address them properly. The only difference is that we usually know names, but not pronouns. We introduce ourselves with a name, but not pronouns. Let's change that!